just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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