i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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