I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
