never play flip cup with pint glasses
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
