fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
