My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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