you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
