I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
