i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
