Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
