the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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