I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
