I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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