She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
