I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
