summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
