I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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