i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
