Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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