It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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