Tell her she can't have a vagina
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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