do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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