I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
