There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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