know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
