I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The Olympian is in my bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
