Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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