I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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