Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
