4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
