can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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