Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
