watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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