I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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