these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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