First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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