I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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