Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
