A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Where did you get a picture of my penis
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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