but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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