what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
