HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
