Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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