That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
