That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
