I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
