How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
