Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
