is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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