I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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