my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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