i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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