Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
